New year, new me! Except not really, since I’ve actually always found that phrase to be rather distasteful. Yeah, it’s nice to feel like you’re shedding off all the old, unwanted parts of your life. We all have things we want gone and buried. But underneath all of those is the core of a lovely person, your essence as it comes, and I rather like what’s there. I’m always evolving and proud of it, but I’m still me at my core and as wild as some of my past has been, I love all the phases I’ve gone through since they mean I am who I am now. It’s cheesy, and ranty, and a bit preachy but it’s true. I wish people weren’t so quick to discard their past when it’s everything that’s built you up to where you are now.
2017 is looking promising from a personal standpoint, based on a lot of things. I’m in the middle of a year abroad, which is fabulous thus far and should only get better. Visa complications that were stressing me out are all sorted out and a peace has settled over me. My omikuji from Yasaka Jinja was daikichi, which means ‘great luck’ and is the best fortune I could have pulled. All my friends seem happy and that makes me glow. I’m just pleased all around.
I don’t have any resolutions for the new year’s in particular, as I tend to fall off of bandwagons quickly and never really try to begin with. But I am looking forward to putting out more positive vibes and trying to be a better person. In such a way that I get better at answering people, whether through emails, texts, etcetera, because I feel bad about meeting people halfway. That I can get a bit more organized, and have some more free time to read more books, or help more people, or just do a little more introspection. That I can find and develop some of my passions, which feel a bit lacking right now and while I’m happy where I am, I want more. I like tangibility in my dreams and I want to have something I can grab onto and ride off with, because right now I’m feeling more than a little unfocused and I don’t think I can help that many people, myself included, while I’m like this.
Through all of my praying, and passing prayer beads, and ringing bells and everything else I did for New Years in Japan, my main focus was sending out positive energy and hoping that people can find and build upon what drives them. I think feeling grounded in any way that suits you, be it a home with friends and family, a passion that pushes you ever-forward or pure self-confidence that motivates you to do whatever you want because you have so much faith in yourself, is one of the best things in this world. And I hope everyone finds, or strengthens that, in 2017.